Qantas

Charlie: Ray, all airlines have crashed at one time or another, that doesn't mean that they are not safe.
Raymond: QANTAS. QANTAS never crashed.
Charlie: QANTAS?
Raymond: Never crashed.


Well Rain Man, you're wrong now. A few days ago, a Qantas plane on its way to Sydney had to make an emergency landing because a fucking engine exploded. And about 3 hours ago, another Qantas plane was grounded because it was also experiencing engine trouble. Convenient that my flight in 2 days across the Pacific Ocean happens to be with Qantas. GREAT. As if my mother isn't freaking the fuck out already about her only daughter traveling across the world by herself, now the airplane I will be spending 19 hours on could very likely my own personal death pod. But I'll be damned if I don't utilize the complimentary unlimited delicious Australian beverages that Qantas offers its passengers. So if and engine blows, at least I'll be going down absolutely hammered on Toohey's New and Pure Blondes. Always a silver lining.

Anyway, I purchased my travel insurance last night. And goddamn, that was a pretty annoying process. The plans tell you that you're covered for "Travel Accidents", so you're thinking, "Oh, if I get in an accident and I break my leg, I'm covered". Actually no, when you read the policy wording, the only way you're covered is:


You're in an accident during your trip that results in:

your death
total and permanent loss of sight in one or both of your eyes
permanent loss of one or both of your hands or feet when they are severed at or above the wrist or ankle

Pretty specific requirements when if comes to where your limbs are severed if you ask me. They also specifically note in the policy wording that they DO NOT cover for treatment of venereal diseases or STI's, so let's hope I don't contract the Clap while I'm away.

Well, I ended up buying insurance through IMGlobal, in case anyone cares. Now I'm insured, packed up, and ready to go! And don't worry, if my plane does go down, I'm covered.